Entertainment

HOLLYWOOD, CA — Disney executives shocked the entertainment world earlier today when they announced a new film titled "Jumpy The Homo-Punching Kangaroo," an apparent attempt to win back conservative viewers they've lost over the past few…

Three years after it first premiered, Squid Game is returning to Netflix. Here is what you need to know about the second season of the hit dystopian drama. Q: When is it coming out? A: At the exact moment when you get kicked off your ex’s…

Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas Is You” turns 30 years old this holiday season. The Onion looks back on Mariah Carey’s career in honor of the Christmas hit. 4 B.C.: The son of God is delivered unto man, and the Lord in Heaven…

Since 2017, Netflix has constructed a Christmas rom-com cinematic universe, which now includes more than a dozen films, but its twin anchors are a pair of royal-themed trilogies set in the present day. Conjuring up the raw materials the…

NEW YORK, NY — In a move intended to capitalize on his popularity with the show's audience, NBC announced that UnitedHealthcare CEO killer Luigi Mangione would host next week's episode of Saturday Night Live.The show, which was originally…

CLEVELAND—Screaming with delight when the rarely seen star appeared onscreen in the opening scene of the film, sources confirmed Thursday that, holy shit, Daniel Day-Lewis is in this. “Man, I thought this was just a Paul Dano flick,…

SPARKS, MD — The hotly anticipated next installment of the popular Civilization franchise, Sid Meier's Civilization VII, will reportedly expand its tech tree system with a new "Bidenomics" research upgrade where inflation ruins everything…

MONTREAL – A nationwide survey of children’s entertainers has made a surprising discovery; family-friendly songwriter Rafe Le Rafe is not an Australian. “Yeah, I grew up in the suburbs and just have a passion for singing kiddy songs,” said…

NEW YORK CITY, NY — The audience of the Broadway play & Juliet was in for a heartwarming surprise during a recent showing, when the production called a little retarded girl up on stage to perform one of the numbers.While theatergoers…

LOS ANGELES—Staring blankly at the 27-year-old woman sitting across from him, musical artist Justin Bieber told reporters Thursday that he had forgotten his wife’s name. “I’d just keep saying ‘babe,’ but I think she’s starting to catch…