environment

SWARM #31205731—Calling the initiative a solution to one of the most pervasive threats to their species, mosquito scientists announced Tuesday an ambitious plan to eradicate Bill Gates worldwide by 2030. “For decades, Bill Gates has been a…

A new government study found that drinking water from nearly half of U.S. faucets likely contains “forever chemicals” that may cause cancer and other health problems, so-called because the substances remain in the human body for years and…

LONDON—As the debate continues over whether European and American institutions should return artworks and objects forcibly removed from formerly colonized areas, the British Museum announced Friday that it would take a compromise route by…

WASHINGTON—In an effort to draw attention to the earth’s continuing loss of biodiversity, officials from the World Wildlife Fund confirmed Tuesday that the only remaining species were humans, pigeons, and dandelions. “Yep, that’s it—there…

AUSTIN, TX—Addressing the life-threatening heat dome that has settled over Texas, Gov. Greg Abbott (R) announced Thursday that a backup prayer system had been added to the state electricity grid. “To prevent the deadly outages we’ve…

TATOOINE — A group of scientists on the outer rim planet of Tatooine have come to the realization that the planet's two suns might have something to do with its global warming issue."Our planet has experienced many years of harsh climate…

LAKE OF FIRE — Hell, known for its efficient torture practices and ultra saunas, celebrated a perfect ESG score Wednesday following a review by Bloomberg ESG Data Services. This marks the 19th year in a row Hell has achieved a perfect…

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The World Health Organization declared an end to Covid-19 as a global health emergency, marking a major step toward the end of the pandemic that has killed more than 6.9 million people, disrupted the global economy, and ravaged communities.…

A new study shows that climate change is causing more instability in jet streams and making wind speeds faster, with turbulence predicted to triple in frequency between 2050 and 2080. What do you think?“I can’t wait to take thisout on a…