environment

OTTAWA – With single-use plastic bags becoming harder to come by in Canada many of the nation’s mafioso, made men, and goons report that reusable bags are not as practical at asphyxiating victims. “It’s ridiculous. All these little holes…

A recently released United Nations assessment found that the hole in the Earth’s protective ozone layer is on track to fully mend by 2066, following measures taken by world governments in the late 1980s to phase out ozone-depleting…

OTTAWA – With Canada’s ban on single-use plastics beginning to come into effect shoppers will soon be unable to buy single-use plastic bags, which will be replaced by reusable bags they will use a single time, hang on the back knob of the…

A LARGE CITY WE DIDN’T BOTHER TO LOOK UP ― World leaders are once again convening to draw up a set of ambitious promises they definitely won’t fulfill, toothless goals which wouldn’t do much anyway, or, most likely of all, a pointless…

It’s never been a better time to pick up some sturdy essentials that will keep you cute and cozy through a period of severe and prolonged global cooling brought on by a nuclear catastrophe! 1. A nice parkaSure, a shiny new hazmat suit might…

VANCOUVER – In a rare interview, a sea bird floating off the pacific coast of British Columbia has confirmed that, although it is currently struggling to breathe around plastic straw wedged in its throat, it still firmly believes that paper…

WASHINGTON, DC- The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency announced its new strategy to conserve natural spaces; distributing firearms to all native plant and animal species to allow them to protect themselves and their habitats. “For years,…

CALGARY – According to reports from the Whittaker household, a spoon has been found on a bedroom nightstand despite the utensil’s natural kitchen habitat being well over a dozen steps away. “While a single spoon may appear harmless, and…

See More: bag, environment, news in photos, Recycling, shopping, sustainability Beaverton

MILKY WAY – In a rare interview, God made a statement about how excited they were about the pockets in their universe. They then did a cute little twirl to show off said pockets, sending a few planets off their orbit in the process. “Aren’t…