environment

HOUSTON, TX—Warning that the escaped animal was highly intelligent and a master of deceit, Houston authorities scrambled Friday when a missing tiger named India disappeared into a crowd of tigers. “After four days straight of searching for…

WASHINGTON—Pledging to finally end America’s reliance on fossil fuels, Biden held a press conference Friday to outline the centerpiece of his renewable energy plan to invade Mt. Olympus and steal the mythic bag of wind from the God Aeolus.…

VICTORIA, KS—Expressing concerns about her role in negatively impacting the planet, a local cow on her way to be slaughtered Friday was reportedly fretting about her personal contributions to climate change. “When I consider all the…

NASA’s solar-powered Ingenuity Mars Helicopter became the first aircraft in history to make a powered, controlled flight on another planet, logging a 39-second flight reaching 10 feet above the Martian surface. What do you think?“We’re one…

Japan announced plans to dump a million tonnes of radioactive wastewater into the ocean from the Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Plant that was damaged by a 9.0 magnitude earthquake in 2011, sparking protests from local fisherman and…

WASHINGTON—Promising to assist nations that lack the bargaining power to negotiate with drug manufacturers, President Joe Biden issued assurances Monday that the United States would donate Covid vaccinations to impoverished countries as…

GREENBELT, MD—Warning that the jam could cause major disruptions among intergalactic shipping networks, dismayed NASA officials announced Monday that a massive freighter was currently stuck between the Earth and the Moon. “We regret to…

SEATTLE—In response to recent criticism over whether the company permitted its employees sufficient bathroom breaks, Amazon announced Friday that it had improved workplace conditions by installing open waste grates on all of its warehouse…

Miami Beach officials extended the state of emergency and 8 p.m. curfew after struggling to control large and unruly crowds in town for spring break. What do you think?“Well, after all that partying, it might be nice to have an excuse to…

BONN, GERMANY—Agreeing that public perception of how they were handling the climate crisis had never been more important, world leaders signed a major new accord Tuesdayin which they pledged to cut carbon emissions to the extent that they…