erection

OLATHE, KS—Assuaging a client’s concerns about a potential problem with their heating and cooling system, local HVAC technician Frank Legrand confirmed Thursday that the random clanking noise the homeowner was hearing at night was merely…

SAN FRANCISCO—Emphasizing the extra steps it took to ensure the sex lives of its customers remained public, telehealth company Hims announced a new indiscreet shipping option Thursday that alerts neighbors to an impending erection. “With…

New research from scientists in the U.K. indicates that older men taking Viagra are 18% less likely to develop Alzheimer’s disease, with the researchers speculating that because the medication relaxes blood vessels, it could be improving…

BOWLING GREEN, OH—Complaining about the “woke mind virus” that had taken over the campus, Bowling Green State University economics professor Gerard Admussen told reporters Monday that the overly sensitive college students require a trigger…

WASHINGTON—Calling the influencer-backed beverage a serious public health concern, a visibly erect Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) called on the FDA Monday to investigate the 72-hour erection he had experienced as a result of drinking Logan…

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LETHBRIDGE, AB – Reports indicate that the Miller family’s board game night has been interrupted by their English bulldog Snoodles, who has a glaringly obvious erection no one wants to acknowledge. “I guess I’ll buy Baltic…