Erin O’Toole

BOWMANVILLE- With polling stations across the country hours from closing and Conservatives desperate for votes, Erin O’Toole’s aides were spotted earlier today frantically trying to appeal to Gen-Z voters by teaching him The Renegade. “When…

OTTAWA – With only days left until the federal election, political analysts say party leaders are focused on relating to millennial voters by generally performing a bit worse than everyone had hoped. “All my many mistakes have been part of…

Quebec City – Quebec, a province which keeps passing racist and discriminatory laws, has been in uproar for a week after debate moderator Shachi Kurl suggested those laws are racist and/or discriminatory. “This is an attack on Quebec as a…

RUSSELL, ONT. – At a recent campaign stop, Conservative leader and PM hopeful Erin O’Toole made it clear he wants the Canadian public to absolutely humiliate Trudeau in the election, break him down to a weeping dog boy, mmm-hmm. “Justin…

OTTAWA – In the wake of changing his position on abortion, guns and the carbon tax, Erin O’Toole has also announced that he no longer plans to sell corporate naming rights to all of Canada’s national parks, a plan he had never…

GATINEAU, QC – Conservative Party Leader Erin O’Toole has offered to personally babysit every Canadian child instead of funding new childcare spaces. “If elected as your prime minister, I will come over at any time and look after the future…

OTTAWA – After spending a week flip flopping over whether he would repeal the Liberal government’s assault weapons ban, Conservative leader Erin O’Toole is now saying that Canadians should learn to embrace the ambiguity. “Will my government…

GATINEAU, QC – Conservative Leader Erin O’Toole has instructed his staff to throw rocks at him at his next election event. “Jimmy, this sympathy is getting in the press is not fair at all,” said O’Toole to his loyal campaign staffer,…

VANCOUVER – In another sudden platform shift, Conservative Party leader Erin O’Toole announced he will run under the Liberal Party banner. O’Toole made the announcement after reversing his position on the assault-style firearms ban and…

OTTAWA – As aggressive right-wing, anti-vax protestors continue to scream obscenities and shout at staff during Trudeau rallies, Conservative leader Erin O’Toole has called their behaviour unacceptable, while reminding them all that Trudeau…