Family

As assisted reproductive technologies grow more commonplace, it’s important to have a framework that not only guides our legal standards for reproduction and unborn life, but also our moral standards. What may have started as an…

OMAHA, NE — Local husband Terry McGerry was seen beaming with confidence as he waited in line at the department store checkout, having picked out the wrong Christmas present for his wife weeks earlier than usual.According to witnesses,…

After I opened a box containing the children’s history series Heroes of Liberty and set the books on the playroom table, I hardly saw five of my six kids for the next three days. (My sixth is 2 years old and never sits still.) They were all…

For many of you, it never left. For those involved in Catholic, Lutheran, Anglican, and other denominations that have kept to liturgy, you have been enjoying the long-held tradition of Advent since the 4th century. Not so for me.…

MURRIETA, CA — According to sources, a kindly middle-aged father began bullying his family during a casual game of Mario Kart 8 Deluxe this week. Police were called to the scene after a neighbor became distressed over the sound of wailing…

WICHITA, KS — After months of arguing that he was ready for the responsibility of a mobile device, local homeschooler Kevin Hillstead at last wore his parents down."I finally won't be the only nerd without a mobile device!" said an ecstatic…

AKRON, OH — In order to properly shame the weak, newly installed thermostats will now require men to surrender their Man Card in order to turn on the heat."You sure you want to do that, you low-T coward?" asked the thermostat, as local man…

PAWTUCKET, RI — With the holidays just around the corner, Nerf has introduced its new line of high-capacity, rapid-fire guns with a highly realistic ad that is just two hours of Dad picking up darts.The ad begins with a dad waking up,…

PALMDALE, CA — After a bruising campaign and a protracted process of tabulating results, local man Mike Vaughan's wife has gained control of the house in a slim but decisive majority of 1 vote per wife and 1 vote per husband."To reduce…

TWIN FALLS, ID — Local reports indicate that local father Jeffrey Knickerflogg ascended to legendary status Monday evening after he surprised his family by bringing home pizza for dinner.Witnesses in the neighborhood claim the squeals of…