Family

TWIN FALLS, ID — Local reports indicate that local father Jeffrey Knickerflogg ascended to legendary status Monday evening after he surprised his family by bringing home pizza for dinner.Witnesses in the neighborhood claim the squeals of…

GREELEY, CO — Multiple sources have confirmed that local man Dan Zilph's Instagram account exists solely to wish his wife "happy birthday" every year. Evidence that Zilph uses his Instagram for a singular purpose becomes clear when looking…

CHICAGO, IL — A local couple found themselves facing a challenging dilemma as they were confronted with deciding between giving their child a smartphone or just skipping the middle man and dropping the child off at a local pervert's…

GENEVA — An international Protestant council of scholars and theologians has met this week and formally declared that the commandment "Thou Shalt Not Steal" does not apply to parents repossessing their children's Halloween haul."The…

This fall, I attended a “chuckwagon” dinner and show with some family members in the Black Hills. I have decades of experience at big family celebrations, and never in my life have I witnessed such a miracle of people-moving efficiency…

This is a strange time for conservatives to despair of conservatism. We just won a generational legal victory by overturning Roe v. Wade, and abortion facilities are closing in state after state. Republicans are poised for electoral triumph…

LEHI, UT — A local attorney specializing in heated, bitter divorces has seen his business thrive since he set up shop at the exit of his local IKEA store. This convenient location has provided him with a plethora of couples who had been…

TUSCALOOSA, AL — According to sources close to local man Greg Bernard, the construction sales representative, husband, and father of five often makes cracks about how emotional and moody his wife is, despite the fact that he himself is only…

LAFAYETTE, LA — Local man Alan Tucker patiently waited for his entire family to fall asleep so he could hide in the office to listen to Taylor Swift's newest album Midnights."I've been waiting on this moment for MONTHS," said Mr. Tucker as…

MACON, GA — Having finally begun his read-through-the-Bible-In-A-Year plan in August, local man Lance LeShaun finally arrived at the passage in which God commands the Israelites to avoid their wives for 7 days when they are on their…