Family

COLUMBIA, SC — Local man Alex McIlvaine stumbled upon the brilliant idea today of adding a little sign to his cigar humidor that reads "Smokeable essential oils.""See babe! It's just like the diffuser you have, but a little more direct,"…

BOCA RATON, FL — A fierce Monopoly game night has once again made the very subtle transition into a murder mystery evening."It may have gotten a bit out of hand," admitted local woman Abigail Newton. "The trouble is that this time, it's the…

LINCOLN, NE — Local Woman Francine Guacmeister faked another headache after her husband Allen suggested going up to the bedroom for a romantic night of watching the Lord of the Rings Motion Picture Trilogy: Extended Edition.She claimed the…

LEXINGTON, KY — Local husband Spencer Johnson has been given a life sentence of going to the pumpkin patch every year with his wife Megan."Honey, do we really have to go there again? Surely, there's only so many family photoshoots we can do…

NIAGARA FALLS, ON – While on a recent family vacation, father Todd Evans reached an impressive level of frugality by treating his wife and kids to a visit to the Ripley’s Believe It Or Not! lobby. “I mean the lobby is a museum in…

RALEIGH, NC — Proud air fryer owner Connie Simpson went a record seven minutes today without telling anyone that she owns an air fryer."I guess I got so caught up in talking to my mom about her needing emergency brain surgery that I forgot…

GROVE CITY, FL — Date night for Madilynn and Murphy McMickerson started off just like every other date night when Madilynn told the server she would just have a light salad followed by her husband's entire entree."You know, I'm not feeling…

MESOPOTAMIA — Local patriarch Methuselah has lost all of his wealth after enduring several centuries of writing $5.00 birthday checks to grandchildren. The aged man, who claims to be almost a thousand years old, has since filed for chapter…

WACO, TX — The months-long drought in southern Texas has ended after local woman Stacy Ramage emptied all the water bottles from her nightstand into the water supply."We're saved!" said Mayor Tim O'Leary at a celebratory press conference.…

Stacey Abrams turned the medical world upside-down earlier this week with her revelation that heartbeats are a complete scam, concocted to trick women into thinking babies are alive. We here at the Bee have delved deep and uncovered even…