Family

Couple Spends 3 Hours Picking Movie One Of Them Will Fall Asleep To In 12 Minutes BOISE, ID—According to sources, local couple Ryan and Jessica Smith spent 3 hours looking for a movie to watch last night, only for Ryan to fall asleep 12…

Scholars Now Believe Father Abraham Spent Most Of His Time Putting Out Oil Lamps His Kids Left On ISRAEL—Biblical scholars have uncovered an ancient parchment that appears to contain a portion of Father Abraham’s daily diary. The journal…

Four-Year-Old Excited To Learn Her Pet Fish Is Magic And Changes Colors After Every Family Vacation HOUSTON, TX—Local girl Caitlyn Grace got quite the shock when her family returned from the beach this weekend, as her pet beta fish “Sweetie…

U.S.—The nation's white fathers recently learned about the rampant issues of racial injustice facing people of color in this nation. When they heard that people were going to get free sneakers to help justice or whatever, the fathers…

FLATWOODS, KY—According to sources, local 7-year-old Bella McClusky recently got a brand new toy from her Grandmother. After only 5 minutes of playing with her new toy, she reportedly got bored and elected instead to watch other…

WINDSOR, UK – Representatives of the British Monarchy have confirmed the sad news that the long-ailing cousin of the Queen, Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, has died. Prince Philip’s familial relation to the woman who would eventually…

BYRON, MN—Local husband Brendan Matthews called the Wife Supremacy Hotline early this morning to submit a complaint about his wife Cindy. Matthews claimed that his wife, who he has suspected of wife supremacy for over a year now, was…

Parents Disguising Kids As Illegal Immigrants So They Can Receive In-Person Teaching SAN DIEGO, CA—Upon hearing that San Diego teachers were providing instruction to migrant children but not American citizens, many clever parents began…

Introverted Man Marries Extrovert Just So She Can Handle All His Awkward Social Situations REDONDO BEACH, CA—Local introverted man Christopher Stern married an extroverted woman, Genevieve. He recently admitted to reporters that while he…

Disaster: Your Kids Are Making Friends With Other Kids At The Park And Now You Have To Make Small Talk With Their Parents U.S.—Sad! Not good! Your kids were playing at the park, and you were having a nice time just sitting there on your…