Family

HOUSTON, TX—The Wilson family had quite a surprise when it was bedtime for their three-year-old, Lela, last night. “When I told Lela it was time for bed,” her father recalled, “she said the oddest thing: ‘I don’t want to go to bed.’” Lela…

U.S.—The nation's parents were seen all over the country shouting "Send them back!" as their children boarded school buses and got out of cars to go back to school again for the year. "Send them back! Send them back!" they called out, looks…

Men Agree To Let Women Run The World As Long As They'll Stop Asking Questions During Football Games WORLD—The men of the world have agreed to cede control of everything over to women, "as long as they'll stop interrupting our football games…

In Lieu Of Death Penalty, Federal Government To Begin Sending Criminals On A Two-Week-Long Family Road Trip WASHINGTON, D.C.—In place of the death penalty, the federal government has unveiled an even worse punishment: sending criminals on a…

ANCHORAGE, AK—Bryan and Heather Ginsling were overjoyed to find out they were expecting their first child last year. Finally, early this morning, the time came, and the Ginslings welcomed a healthy, 7 pound, 8 ounce little girl into the…

FRANKLIN, TN—Tragedy struck the Hanson household today. The family sat down to eat together this evening as usual. Sadly, as the family worked together to set the table, put out the food, and dig in, they missed one crucial step: praying…

RED RIDGE, WV—The Netherton family, known by their neighbors as "that nice but kinda weird homeschooling family," was forced to buy another 15-passenger van after their current commercial-class van ran out of window space for stick…

Father Playfully Tossing Daughter Up In The Air Accidentally Launches Her Into Low Earth Orbit ANKENY, IA—Local father Frank Antony might have gotten carried away while playfully tossing his daughter up in the air. Ignoring his wife's…

Smartphone That Passed Barrage Of Brutal Durability Tests During Development Broken By Toddler In Three Seconds MOORE, OK—A smartphone that was designed over many years at great cost to the manufacturer, tested over and over again for…

EL MONTE, CA—The Grasmick kids, Amy and Aiden, just recently got off of school for the year and began their long-awaited summer vacation. Amy and Aiden made a rookie mistake, however, after being on summer vacation for less than three days:…