Family

SILVER SPRING, MD—Local parents Bill and Cindy Kaufmann completed an annual tradition Friday when they posted a photo of their 28-year-old son Justin moving back into their basement. After finishing his summer job as a volunteer counselor…

Alexa Helpfully Interrupts Couple's Argument To Provide Recordings Of Their Previous Conversations DOUGLASVILLE, GA—Dave and Melinda Georgio were having a bitter dispute about work Melinda wanted Dave to do around the house earlier today.…

HOUSTON, TX—The Wilson family had quite a surprise when it was bedtime for their three-year-old, Lela, last night. “When I told Lela it was time for bed,” her father recalled, “she said the oddest thing: ‘I don’t want to go to bed.’” Lela…

U.S.—The nation's parents were seen all over the country shouting "Send them back!" as their children boarded school buses and got out of cars to go back to school again for the year. "Send them back! Send them back!" they called out, looks…

Men Agree To Let Women Run The World As Long As They'll Stop Asking Questions During Football Games WORLD—The men of the world have agreed to cede control of everything over to women, "as long as they'll stop interrupting our football games…

In Lieu Of Death Penalty, Federal Government To Begin Sending Criminals On A Two-Week-Long Family Road Trip WASHINGTON, D.C.—In place of the death penalty, the federal government has unveiled an even worse punishment: sending criminals on a…

ANCHORAGE, AK—Bryan and Heather Ginsling were overjoyed to find out they were expecting their first child last year. Finally, early this morning, the time came, and the Ginslings welcomed a healthy, 7 pound, 8 ounce little girl into the…

FRANKLIN, TN—Tragedy struck the Hanson household today. The family sat down to eat together this evening as usual. Sadly, as the family worked together to set the table, put out the food, and dig in, they missed one crucial step: praying…

RED RIDGE, WV—The Netherton family, known by their neighbors as "that nice but kinda weird homeschooling family," was forced to buy another 15-passenger van after their current commercial-class van ran out of window space for stick…

Father Playfully Tossing Daughter Up In The Air Accidentally Launches Her Into Low Earth Orbit ANKENY, IA—Local father Frank Antony might have gotten carried away while playfully tossing his daughter up in the air. Ignoring his wife's…