Family

WHEELING, WV—Saying that the talk was "long overdue," local father Kyle Smith finally sat down with his Fortnite-addicted son in order to lecture him on his need to play much better video games. The father gently but firmly reminded his son…

BOSTON, MA—Local man Chris Benson reported Monday that he's starting to get really stressed out over all the Christmas shopping his wife still has to do. As Benson relaxed on the couch, he suddenly realized Christmas was just about a week…

Kid Enjoys Relaxing Sunday Afternoon Waiting For Parents To Finish After-Church Small Talk SIOUX CITY, IA—Local boy Jacob Bender reported yesterday that he was enjoying a relaxing Sunday afternoon standing by his family's car waiting for…

'The Milk Is Nowhere To Be Found,' Reports Husband Staring Directly At Jug Of Milk CRESCENT CITY, CA—"The milk is absolutely nowhere to be found," declared local husband and father Jake Matgard Friday as he stared directly at the jug of…

Man Sleeps On Floor After Being Forced Off Bed By Wife's Decorative Pillows Again DENVER, CO—Local man Michael Martinson was forced to sleep on the floor again last night after he was unable to find any space on the bed, thanks to his…

Man Assures Family He'll Have Christmas Lights Up In Time For Saint Patrick's Day FONTANA, CA—After his wife and kids reminded him nearly every day for the past week that it was time to put up the Christmas lights, local father Kyle Jackson…

Global Warming Pinned On Kid Who Keeps Leaving The Front Door Wide Open While The Heater Is On GRANTS PASS, OR—Scientists have finally discovered the primary cause of global warming: local kid Oliver Paulson, who left the front door wide…

BENTON, WY—A man was placed in solitary confinement today by his own family after excessive use of turkey and other Thanksgiving-related puns leading up to the holiday. The Jenkins family says father and husband, Troy Jenkins, ignored…

TONTITOWN, AR—In a surprising turn of events, the Duggar family discovered a kid they forgot they even had in the cushions of their living room couch Tuesday morning. Jim Bob Duggar was looking for a pocket New Testament he'd misplaced…

LOS ANGELES, CA—Multiple sources close to a local wife confirmed Tuesday that she is cold. Though everyone around her was dressed in seasonally appropriate clothing and didn't seem to feel like it was cold outside, she declared they were…