Family

HATTIESBURG, MS — Local woman Sarah Donaldson informed her husband Jeremy that she was almost ready to leave, alerting him that he had time to watch at least one extended-edition Lord of the Rings movies."Welp, guess I'll start with…

BUENA PARK, CA — According to sources, a local youth pastor and his wife were seen diligently searching through the Old Testament to find the weirdest possible baby name.Unsatisfied with the standard biblical names used by so many other…

ST. PAUL, MN — Sources within the Garrison household reported that local seven-pound newborn Marcus required a cool 3,290 pounds of luggage for a brief overnight trip.According to Mrs. Stephanie Garrison, her husband had just finished…

According to recent polls, former President Donald Trump is poised to capture the largest percentage of black voters of any Republican candidate since Richard Nixon got 32 percent in 1960. If President Trump openly advocates for policies…

DRAPER, UT — Local husband Aaron Campbell presented a detailed spreadsheet to his wife of all the ways he's a super great time after she accused him of being no fun."Ok, so if you direct your attention to Sheet 4 column 46 you can see a…

Corey Comperatore will be remembered by the media and many simply as the Trump rallygoer who was struck and killed by a bullet meant to assassinate the former president. His wife and daughters, however, say he’s a “real-life superhero” who…

TULSA, OK — Local five-year-old David Daniels ignored his mother's repeated warnings to stop standing in front of the microwave, and now Daniels is flying across the globe stopping criminals with his spectacular mutant powers.Going by the…

Besides the rise in leftist politics in the classroom and the learning loss caused by the Covid lockdowns, one major issue K-12 teachers have observed in recent years is the widening learning gap between boys and girls. Girls earn higher…

WINDSOR — Local cat Furvel Mittenpaws has sent shockwaves through the Watson household after deliberately knocking over the family’s swear jar in an act of pure malice. “That son of a bitch knew exactly what the fuck he was doing,” said…

NEW MARKET, MN — Sources close to Cliff Johnson say that the father of seven was in for a horrid surprise last weekend when a tiny, pipsqueaked little punk in the backseat asked him, "Dad, isn't speeding a sin?"According to reports, Johnson…