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BOSTON – After explicitly praising Donald Trump’s support of their team and even hoping they can “win for him” U.S. hockey players discovered what Ted Cruz and numerous other politicians discovered years ago: aligning yourself with Trump…

OTTAWA – Television viewers across the country have been wowed by a 30 second curling commercial that contains nearly 2.5 seconds of intense curling action. “I always thought curling was just an excuse to get plastered,” said 43-year-old…

MONTREAL – As Team Canada gets set to play its first game in the inaugural 4 Nations Face-Off, fans across the country are ready to either celebrate a generation-defining victory or dismiss a totally meaningless defeat in a Mickey Mouse…

OTTAWA – Conservative insiders are growing concerned about Pierre Poilievre’s behaviour in recent days, as he is spending hours in his bedroom playing Joni Mitchell’s Big Yellow Taxi while looking at photos of Trudeau. “Every time a new…

By: Chris Standin President Trump has gone ahead with his long rumoured plans to put a 25% tariff on all Canadian goods sold in the United States (other than energy, which got 10%). He believes he can use brute economic force to make us…

The most romantic day of the year is almost here, but what if you’re busy this Valentine’s Day? Don’t start preparing for divorce court just yet; with a little planning and the right attitude, Groundhog Day can be every bit as sensual.…

ROCHESTER, MN — Reports are coming in that a ham and cheese sandwich suffered a grievous injury in its internal ingredients, necessitating medical evacuation to the Mayo Clinic. “This is about as serious a case as I’ve ever seen,” said…

Doug Ford has announced Ontarians will go to the polls this February. Even though he is only 2.5 years into his current regime, Ford says he needs “a strong mandate” from the people to deal with Donald Trump and his proposed tariffs. And…

NEW YORK CITY – America’s magic bean market is in turmoil after a Chinese company unveiled a competing bean that’s less than one tenth the price but still just as useless. “DeepBean’s new beans only require a third of the water that…

TORONTO – Renegade doctor Lance Falcon is shocking the medical establishment with his brilliant but wildly unorthodox thoughts on where your new liver should go, according to dazzled reporters. “My so-called ‘teachers’ told me the liver…