Featured Post

OTTAWA – Hear ye hear ye fine citizens of British North America and allow your hearts to be elated. After a long hiatus in London, England, esteemed Governor of the Bank of England Mark Carney, OC, has announced he has made the gracious…

VANCOUVER – Former B.C. Premier Christy Clark has opted not to run for leader of the federal Liberal Party, stating she intends to run for leader of the NDP when Jagmeet Singh steps down. “For the past week the debate has been whether I’m a…

OTTAWA – Just hours after announcing he was stepping down as Liberal Party leader and prime minister, Justin Trudeau was begging for the job back after spending 10 minutes browsing the Ottawa housing market. “Wait, so the government doesn’t…

OTTAWA – According to experts Justin Trudeau resigning is proof that just making political error after political error over the course of 9 years can topple even the most powerful politician. “Canadian voters have become far less forgiving…

NANAIMO, BC — Local Gen X-er Jerry Greene flailed like an inflatable car dealership mascot today as he attempted to untangle and insert his AirPods before answering his ringing iPhone. “‘Call missed.’ Dammit, this happens every time,”…

CALGARY – Reports from the Calloway household indicate that a local ant is taking a pointlessly circuitous route to a tasty chocolate chip cookie crumb. “He rounded the knife block twice, and then he went down to the floor for a while…

OTTAWA – Officials from the Federal Body Inspection agency have announced that Special Agent Bradley Carmichael has been stripped of his rank and discharged after being enmeshed in a corruption scandal. “Mr. Carmichael is a disgrace to the…

BRAMALEA, ON — Local trendster Emily Ling established herself as the GOAT when she pushed the envelope by pouring awesome sauce onto cool beans, resulting in an amazeballs explosion of cray cray proportions. “OMG!” said Ling. “I know I’m…

OTTAWA – The Canadian Society of Sluggish Scientists (not to be confused with the Canadian Society of Slug Scientists) has announced via press release that they’re pretty sure there are many kinds of squirrels out there, but that they’re…

JUDAEA — Archeologists from Sapienza University of Rome have recently uncovered evidence suggesting that Yeshua Ben Yusuf, popularly known as “Jesus,” had a thriving career installing jacuzzis. “The Christ’s system employed a variety of…