federalgovernmentoftheunitedstates

CAPE CANAVERAL, FL—Succumbing before the launch even took place to a sudden and mysterious onset of what is being described as space madness, NASA astronauts reportedly went insane Thursday and killed each other immediately upon entering…

THE MEDITERRANEAN SEA—On the heels of a damning report detailing how Clarence Thomas accepted millions of dollars in lavish, unreported vacations from a Republican megadonor, sources confirmed Thursday that every justice on the U.S. Supreme…

WASHINGTON—Smiling coyly as entrées were set on the table for the first family Monday night, President Biden is said to have casually mentioned to White House executive chef Cristeta Comerford that it was his birthday in an attempt to scam…

AUSTIN, TX—Forced to undergo extra security checks by officers from the Transportation Security Administration, local man Ron Hoyt was reportedly pulled aside at the airport Friday when an X-ray scanner revealed the burning Twin Towers in…

WASHINGTON—Drawing swift rebukes from regulators and industry activists, the Biden administration came under fire Thursday for breaking child labor laws after half of the federal cabinet was revealed to be under the age of 10. “We’ve…

Former Trump adviser Kellyanne Conway and husband George Conway, a lawyer and frequent Trump critic, have announced they are divorcing after more than two decades of marriage. What do you think?“I hoped their shared awfulness would make up…

WASHINGTON—Expressing deep skepticism about the constitutionality of such executive actions, members of the Supreme Court’s conservative majority raised questions during oral arguments Tuesday about whether the president was legally allowed…

President Biden, two years into his term and facing a Republican-led House for the first time, delivered his State of the Union address to a joint session of Congress last night. What did you think of the speech?“There wasn’t enough …

WASHINGTON—Cheering for the incredible sleight-of-hand on display, President Joe Biden reportedly clapped in amazement Tuesday after an FBI agent pulled a document marked “top secret” from behind his ear. “Whoa-ho-ho! How the heck did you…

WASHINGTON—Pointing at each other and shouting as huge grins formed on their faces, Supreme Court Justices Samuel Alito and Clarence Thomas shared a long laugh this week after discovering they had both leaked the decision in Dobbs v.…