feminine hygiene

NEW YORK—In a breakthrough finding that sheds light on the keen perceptive abilities of the age group, a Columbia University study published Friday revealed that vicious sixth-grade girls were able to detect a single drop of menstrual blood…

CINCINNATI—Expanding the range of its offerings to fit modern consumer needs, period-product manufacturer Always announced Thursday it would begin selling a new off-roading maxi pad with up to 40% more shock absorption. “This…

SAN CLEMENTE, CA—Stressing that she had one around here somewhere while rifling through her purse, local mother Nancy Jensen gave her visiting daughter a tampon from 1983, sources confirmed Tuesday. “Aha, I knew I’d find one—30 years later,…

COLUMBUS, OH—Stressing that the powerful jet of red fluid emitting from her genitals was nothing to be embarrassed about, local mother Stephanie Reese assured her daughter Friday that it was perfectly natural to spray a geyser of period…