fiction

MESA, AZ—Arriving as quickly as possible to assist a desperate customer, a locksmith was reportedly called Friday after a local man lost the incantation needed to open an ancient enchanted stone chamber. “It took him 45 minutes to get here,…

SAN DIEGO—Saying this was the sort of sweetheart deal that he wouldn’t give his own mother, a fast-talking Joe Biden reportedly upsold Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese on two extra nuclear submarines this week, but emphasized that…

Start SlideshowAdvertisementPrevious SlideNext SlideAdvertisementPrevious SlideNext SlideAdvertisementPrevious SlideNext SlideAdvertisementPrevious SlideNext SlideAdvertisementPrevious SlideNext SlideAdvertisementPrevious SlideNext…

Bans on books in schools are on the rise, with states like Texas, Florida, and Pennsylvania targeting material some parents and educators believe is inappropriate for students, while critics of these policies point to consequences of such…

LOS ANGELES—In an effort to avoid making her feel nervous as night fell in the city, the Grim Reaper reportedly slowed his pace on the sidewalk Thursday so as not to freak out the woman walking ahead of him. “The last thing I want is for…

Two weeks after its release, Hogwarts Legacy has become one of the fastest-selling video games of all time, despite controversy surrounding Harry Potter creator J.K. Rowling. The Onion takes a deep dive into everything you need to know…

Publisher Penguin Random House announced it will release a new collection of Roald Dahl’s children’s novels in their original form after it received criticism for cuts and rewrites removing language that may be offensive to some modern-day…

The Last Of Us, the post-apocalyptic drama series based on a 2013 video game, has shot to both commercial and critical stardom. The Onion tells you everything you need to know about The Last Of Us.CCOffEnglishQ: What is The Last Of Us…

J.K. Rowling: “Well, I never—look, if you’re going to spew hateful rhetoric at me, we’re going to terminate this interview right here and now. Christ, how low some journalists will stoop! We can continue, but you’re going to have to ask…

KYIV, UKRAINE—Arriving with a box of chocolates and a bouquet of flowers tucked under his arm, President Joe Biden informed Volodymr Zelensky on Tuesday that he was only in the region to visit a local woman he met online. “Sorry, pal, I…