Finance

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a flurry afternoon tweets, President Donald Trump blamed previous president Barack Obama for the stunning 1175-point drop suffered by the Dow Monday, in a sudden about-face from his normal position of taking credit for…

FORT MORGAN, CO—Reminding authorities that he is, in fact, a “temple of the Holy Spirit,” local man Carl Menard declared himself to be completely exempt from paying taxes as a religious organization, sources confirmed Wednesday. Menard…

HOUSTON, TX—America’s largest church has filed for an initial public offering which will take place early next year, Lakewood executives as well as a spokesman for the Securities and Exchange Commission confirmed Thursday. The church will…

HEAVEN—The treasure that Christians are currently storing up for themselves in heaven through faithfulness in Christ was revealed to actually be a collection of Bitcoins set aside for each believer, sources in heaven confirmed Tuesday.…