Finance

SANTA CLARA, CA — Following the unexpected collapse of Silicon Valley Bank, company officials have reached out to customers who lost their life savings with promises of a free pen."This is our bad," said CEO Gregory Becker. "So please be…

Image CreditVictoria Marshall “President Biden is prioritizing politics over his own people,” House Speaker Kevin McCarthy said at a signing ceremony for a bill that would nullify a Department of Labor rule that allowed retirement…

Amalgamated Bank, with just five branches across three cities, would seem an unlikely mover and shaker in the world of Wall Street, let alone Washington, D.C. Yet last fall, it successfully pressured colossal credit card companies…

WASHINGTON—Still groggy and sore from the late night, Mitt Romney was reportedly exhausted Wednesday after scolding all 535 liars in Congress. “Oh boy, it took until 3 a.m., but I finally got it done,” said the disheveled, red-eyed senator,…

OTTAWA – Recent consumer data was shows an alarming majority of Canadians continue to spend their grocery budget on groceries, despite the advice of financial experts to buy grocery stocks instead. “Canadian food prices are sky high, as is…

HARLINGEN, TX — Local man Gary Marmon climbed to the top of The Forbes 400 after it was revealed he possessed both Taylor Swift tickets and a dozen eggs. Marmon beat out former richest man Elon Musk, who called the newcomer a beacon of…

SAN ANTONIO—Saying a series of fiscally irresponsible decisions had led to the local 10-year-old’s present insolvency, top financial analysts stated Tuesday that debt-ridden fourth-grader Daniel Brown should have stopped himself from…

A recession is coming in 2023, concluded more than two-thirds of the economists at big financial institutions recently surveyed by The Wall Street Journal. Inflation is also likely to remain high. Measuring year-over-year inflation by the…

You may be familiar with the GameStop and AMC fiasco that happened in 2021 when Robinhood, a stock trading app, halted investors’ ability to buy or sell their stocks while those stocks were significantly rising in price. This was a clear…

OTTAWA – Struggling home buyers rejoice! After years of an impossibly expensive real estate market, it looks like home prices are finally starting to fall due to the increased costs of borrowing money to buy one, making homes in Canada just…