Finance

After just the first month, 2021 has already been defined by politically inspired riots, revolts against the so-called elite hedge-fund class, and an increasingly influential meme culture driven by a population largely stuck at home over…

Merriam-Webster Changes Definition Of ‘White Supremacist’ To ‘Anyone Who Wins In The Stock Market When They’re Not Supposed To’ SPRINGFIELD, MA—WallStreetBets has been banned from Reddit and Discord after conspiring to make money on the…

U.S.—The famed conservative economist and free-market advocate Dr. Thomas Sowell took a lot of flack this week by distancing himself from the economic practices of one “Santa Claus”. Sowell pointed out that a sudden flood of free toys will…

Hard-Working Plumber Looking Forward To Paying For His Neighbor’s Gender Studies Degree PADUCAH, KY—With Democrats proposing the mass cancellation of student debt, successful Americans around the country are really looking forward to paying…

ROME—New Year's Eve the world witnessed a historical event when the Pope repeatedly slapped a woman's hand after she tugged on his arm in a forceful, Trump-like fashion. While the Pope went on to issue an apology for the incident, the…

After Accumulating $999,999,999, Man Stops Earning Money So People Won’t Get Mad At Him NEW YORK, NY—Successful businessman Kelvin Wood was alarmed when he checked his bank account. His net worth was now $999,999,999, putting him…

Elizabeth Warren's Plan To Pay For Medicare For All: Spend So Much The National Debt Clock Rolls Over To Zero U.S.—Many were startled by the cost of Elizabeth Warren’s Medicare for All plan, estimated to be a whopping $52 trillion. “Is this…

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Conservatives in Congress proudly announced Monday they have achieved their goal of conserving massive budget deficits. "These progressives want to destroy our country by getting rid of all of our traditions," said Senate…

U.S.—A tough, high-priced, and brutally competitive housing market is forcing more and more millennials to live in a van down by the river. Many 20-30 somethings are also having to live on a steady diet of government cheese, sources…

Financial Experts Recommend Breaking Into Your Neighbors' Houses And Smashing All Their Pots To See If They Have Any Rupees U.S.—As a recession seems to be looming in the nation, financial advice experts are recommending Americans prepare…