Food

Chipotle has announced plans to expand into Mexico, sharing that their first restaurant will open early next year. What do you think? “Makes sense, Mexican food is big down there.” Mary North, Book Inscriber “Great, I’ll…

SILVER SPRING, MD—Emphasizing that these guidelines had already been issued to the public plenty of times, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration released a passive-aggressive safety alert Thursday reminding Americans that the serving tongs…

MARYVILLE, TN—Relying on a precise measurement as though a slight miscalculation could be lethal, local woman Anna Gardner, who is said to be on a diet, reportedly weighed out peanut butter Thursday like it was hard drugs. Several reports…

CHICAGO—Acknowledging the profound and deeply bittersweet paradox, local man Gary Lanetti reported Tuesday that “grief is the price we pay for love” as he clutched an empty package of salami close to his chest. “Opening yourself up to true…

VATICAN CITY—Landing in the emergency room after he ended his solemn Easter blessing by vomiting bright colors from a balcony onto the crowd in St. Peter’s Square, His Holiness Pope Francis was admitted back into the hospital Sunday as a…

Food scientists discovered that Postia stiptica, a type of mushroom found in the U.K. and Ireland, contains a chemical identified as the most bitter-tasting substance ever found. What do you think? “This is a huge step forward for…

Scientists recently had the opportunity to taste a batch of “space miso” fermented for 30 days aboard the International Space Station, noting it had a nuttier and more roasted quality than typical soybean paste made on Earth. What do you…

EL RENO, OK—Explaining to the server at local restaurant Sid’s Diner that he only wanted one patty—not two—dainty little man Carlos Villarreal reportedly ordered a single cheeseburger Thursday. “Oh dear, is this delicate fellow worried…

The abrupt cancellation of government funding for programs to help food banks distribute healthy, local food is being felt across the country, with some already strapped organizations turning to their local communities for help. What do you…

LANSING, MI—Expressing dismay at the lack of more subdued options, bereaved nephew Douglas Kerns confirmed Tuesday that the only bag of chips big enough for his uncle’s funeral reception said “Party Size!” on it. “We’re going to need…