Food

HARTFORD, CT—Telling his skeptical friends that he was in no way being hyperbolic as he described his ravenous state, local man Will Childress reportedly swore Wednesday that he was so hungry he could eat an orange. “Man, my stomach has…

ST. GEORGE, UT—With the water vapor causing condensation to form on the lenses and impair his vision, local man Patrick Whittle was reportedly forced Thursday by his fogged-up glasses to finish his soup using his other senses. “In my…

From the Secret Service on Tuesday came word that Donald Trump will attend Sunday’s Super Bowl, making him the first sitting president to do so. Given his myriad responsibilities, he won’t have time to stay in New Orleans for long — but he…

ROCHESTER, MN — Reports are coming in that a ham and cheese sandwich suffered a grievous injury in its internal ingredients, necessitating medical evacuation to the Mayo Clinic. “This is about as serious a case as I’ve ever seen,” said…

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration has banned the use of red dye No. 3 in food, beverages, and ingested drugs, more than 30 years after scientists discovered links to cancer in animals. What do you think? “Good thing I cut out…

Many in the MAHA movement have applauded the Food and Drug Administration’s recent ban on Red No. 3, an artificial dye used to give food products a red or pink hue. The news blew up social media, with many X users celebrating the move.…

Donald Trump’s nomination of Robert F. Kennedy Jr. to Health and Human Services secretary has broken cultural and media taboos against noticing that Americans pay the most in the world for health care yet also have the most chronic…

The mission of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services is to enhance the health and well-being of Americans. Somewhere during its journey of growth and influence, however, HHS lost its way. If this is to be corrected, new…

A few months ago, I came across a Facebook ad for “David” protein bars. The name of the bars struck me as random until I visited the website, where I was greeted by a well-chiseled chest, a reference to the sculpture of the quintessential…

CONNECTICUT – A devastating explosion at Frito-Lays’ Cheetos factory last Thursday – which has left 82 wounded and 27 still missing – was insensitively categorized as a level “dangerously cheesy” incident, according to the International…