Food

BRAMPTON, ON – Loblaw Companies Ltd.’s fourth-quarter results beat analysts’ expectations, which executives credit to the grocery giant’s corporate strategy of “gouging people for things they need to stay alive.” “In the past we tried…

WINDSOR ON – Through slightly bleeding gums and a raw tongue, Jarrod Pumpfrey declared that salt and vinegar chips are definitely the best chip flavour in the world. Pumpfrey has always seen himself as a chip aficionado. He ate his first…

MONCTON – Officials announced Monday that local health inspector Burt Beynolds has been let go from his position as city health inspector for judging restaurants according to his particular preferences, instead of municipal bylaws.…

As many Americans struggle to put food on the table, The Wall Street Journal proposed an idea this week: Instead of Biden taking responsibility for his destructive public policy, you should just skip breakfast. Titled “To Save Money, Maybe…

OTTAWA – Recent consumer data was shows an alarming majority of Canadians continue to spend their grocery budget on groceries, despite the advice of financial experts to buy grocery stocks instead. “Canadian food prices are sky high, as is…

BRAMPTON, ON – Galen Weston, billionaire philanthropist and benevolent overlord of the Loblaws grocery empire, has graciously announced plans to liberate No Name brand products from their unjust price freeze, effective February 1st. “Much…

TORONTO – Jeff Fisher, a local white guy, has demanded that, for his weekly dinner out with his core group of friends, they try to find a place with truly authentic General Tso’s Chicken on the menu. “I’m sick and tired of stuff like Manchu…

COURTENAY, BC – A local vegan has confessed that she, too, can tell her food is vegan. Chelsea Forsythe made the shocking confession after a near decade of vigilant veganism, during which she has become known for her catchphrase, “And you…

Through a series of serendipitous events, America’s most famous farmer Joel Salatin spoke at Hillsdale College for a “Parallel Economies” conference that has just been posted free online. After a 45-hour trip from South Africa to small-town…

PUGLIA, ITALY ― Olive oil is a household staple, with extra-virgin varieties particularly prized for their minimal processing. But with fewer and fewer people saving themselves for marriage, one of the key ingredients in this beloved…