football

Despite the COVID hysterics who warned you otherwise, a college-football game did not lead to a spike in positive cases. NRPLUS MEMBER ARTICLE W ith the college-football season now under way, familiar voices — in the media and elsewhere…

DETROIT—Dashing any hope he had for the upcoming season, Lions fan Paul Benson told reporters Thursday that Detroit was “so screwed” after seeing they got matched up against other teams again. “Ah, shit, this season is gonna suck,” said…

CHARLOTTE, NC—Bringing him into Bank of America Stadium where they washed off the grime with a nice warm bath, the Carolina Panthers adopted a patchy-haired, shivering rescue quarterback named SamThursday, who had spent years being abused…

NEW YORK—Several leading football analysts confirmed Wednesday that most NFL teams are just one or two ridiculously overpriced free agent signings away from a Super Bowl victory. “Giving out a bloated contract to an aging pass rusher or…

TAMPA BAY, FL – This year’s so-called “Super” Bowl will feature Tom Brady and Patrick Mahomes, two quarterbacks who are somehow considered elite talents despite having never once competed for the Grey Cup. Brady will be attempting to…

TAMPA, FL – With a significant number of advertisers dropping out of this year’s sparsely-attended Super Bowl, the NFL has announced on Sunday that they will fill the unused TV spots with commercials from previous Super Bowls and see if…