friends

Well this is odd! It seems that nearly every friend and family member in your life is currently testing positive for COVID-19, the disease from the 2020-2021 Pandemic. “I mean obviously based on governmental restrictions, media coverage and…

TORONTO – Local man Matt Faskins has visited his friend in London, England more often than he has his friend in London, ON since each moved away 6 years ago. “Back in University me, Simon and Dave were inseparable,” said Faskins.…

CANCUN – Local man Garth Evers was beside himself to discover he actually does know the ‘Steve from Toronto’ this American he just met on vacation inquired about. “When he said ‘Canadian? You must know my buddy Steve from Toronto’ I was…

Stratford, ON – Local man Eric Morgenstern will once again be spending his summer thinking of reasons why he can’t join friends on their upcoming camping trips. “Life would be so much easier if I could just admit that I don’t want to poo…

KINGSTON, ON – In a moment that could only be described as “a heartbreaking revelation of her own filth,” local woman Amanda Gessele was welcomed into the home of college friend Suzanne Tuffin, who apologized for the mess while standing on…

TORONTO – As Canadians begin socializing in-person again, The Canadian Board of Acceptable Social Norms (CBASN) has added spouting off a detailed account of your entire resume, including references and special skills, to its list of…

WORLDWIDE: Long distance friendships around the world have been reduced to periodically sending each other “don’t fuck him” and “yeah, also not him” texts. “When I moved to Canada, my best friend and I would always be in touch. Daily…

We’ve all been there- someone is telling you a story, probably an extremely personal one that requires your full attention, but also there’s a bowl of salt and vinegar chips right there, bathed in angelic light, looking all delicious and…

WATERLOO, ON – A local group of friends who all met working at a Second Cup in 2015 have been meaning to have a Zoom catchup since the beginning of the pandemic, and have now rescheduled for the 86th week in a row. “We’re gonna do it…

MALIBU, CA—Expressing concern over a recent spate of social media outbursts and drunken interviews, friends and family were reportedly worried Thursday that Scottie Pippen’s downward spiral would lead to the former Bulls star hosting an…