God

HEAVEN—Saying He guessed His love language was just acts of service, the Lord God, He Who Commanded Light To Shine From The Darkness, admitted Tuesday that He is still a little flattered when someone kills in His name. “Yeah, I know, I…

“He Gets Us” is spending upwards of a billion dollars on an advertising campaign to expose millions of people, including those who tuned in to the 2023 Super Bowl, to Jesus. But its attempt to win over the world with a modernized version of…

Buffalo Bills quarterback Josh Allen just scored the biggest victory of his life — and no, I’m not referring to his defeat of the Miami Dolphins on Sunday. Over the past several weeks, Allen and the Bills have been grappling with the sudden…

Since Recession Christmas is almost here, I hope we’re all ready to play a Yuletide game normally reserved for impoverished college students and gambling addicts — Christmas Cash Reimbursement. In case you’re not familiar, this is the game…

This fall, I attended a “chuckwagon” dinner and show with some family members in the Black Hills. I have decades of experience at big family celebrations, and never in my life have I witnessed such a miracle of people-moving efficiency…

This is a strange time for conservatives to despair of conservatism. We just won a generational legal victory by overturning Roe v. Wade, and abortion facilities are closing in state after state. Republicans are poised for electoral triumph…

By Theodore Shoebat FROM THE GARDEN OF EDEN “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” (John 1:1) Tell me, reader, what in the heathen books could ever match such beautiful verse–such sublime prose;…

“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.” So said Mark Twain, and so have…

MILKY WAY – In a rare interview, God made a statement about how excited they were about the pockets in their universe. They then did a cute little twirl to show off said pockets, sending a few planets off their orbit in the process. “Aren’t…

HEAVEN – With news breaking that Gilbert Gottfried has passed away, Heaven has announced the beloved comedian has joined his departed friends Bob Saget and Norm MacDonald in the Comedy Central Roast of God. “Oh my God! Or should I say ‘Oh…