greg abbott

Texas Gov. Greg Abbott issued a statement on Wednesday asserting that the Lone Star State has a constitutional right to defend its sovereignty in the wake of an invasion facilitated by President Biden’s open border policies. “The federal…

The Texas National Guard made national headlines this week when it seized a strip of land in one of the biggest illegal border crossing hotspots in the Lone Star State from federal border officials. However, what was initially hailed as a…

Start SlideshowMany politicians seem to believe they know enough about medicine to determine whether certain procedures are medically necessary or not. The Onion asked elected officials why they understand abortion better than doctors, and…

A Texas law that went into effect on New Year’s Day 2024 bars universities from pushing racist “diversity, equity, and inclusion” (DEI) on Lone Star State campuses, but several higher education institutions have already committed to…

Start SlideshowWhile it’s common knowledge that citizens have very little influence on elected officials, The Onion asked U.S. politicians how their constituents feel about a ceasefire in Gaza, and this is what they said.…

A church in Fort Worth, Texas, has founded a grantmaking pipeline to send minors out of the state to undergo genital mutilation procedures in response to a new law banning the operations in Texas. Senate Bill 14 went into effect at the…

Start SlideshowUnder SB8, private citizens in Texas can sue anyone who aids or abets in an abortion after six weeks of pregnancy. The Onion asked Texans why helping someone get an abortion is a crime, and this is what they…

As Washington, D.C., refuses to defend Texas, and even sides with Texas’ foreign antagonists over a buoy barrier meant to prevent illegal immigration, it brings to mind when Rome abandoned Britain. In the violence and decay of late…

AUSTIN, TX—Following criticism for placing buoys and razor wire along the Rio Grande in a violation of international law, Texas Gov. Greg Abbott announced Monday that, going forward, he would order his state troopers to humanely stun…

AUSTIN, TX—Addressing the life-threatening heat dome that has settled over Texas, Gov. Greg Abbott (R) announced Thursday that a backup prayer system had been added to the state electricity grid. “To prevent the deadly outages we’ve…