hairdressing

SACRAMENTO, CA—As an otherworldly glow emanated from the California governor’s meticulously sculpted coiffure, sources confirmed Friday that the pulsating hair product on Gavin Newsom’s head had taken control of his thoughts. “There will be…

SAN FRANCISCO—Calling it “a transformative process that he hopes will inspire others,” local white man Todd Garrett announced Tuesday that he would soon begin his natural hair journey, according to his blog. “I am proud to say that I am…

THE HEAVENS—With smoke and the acrid smell of charred cherubim filling the skies, celestial sources confirmed Wednesday that the Lord God Almighty accidentally burned down heaven this morning when His malfunctioning curling iron started an…