hamburgers

COLUMBUS, OH—In an effort to come clean about the storied history of the brand, White Castle released a statement Tuesday confirming its sliders were the result of centuries of inbreeding. “Years of burgers procreating within the same…

CLEVELAND—Debuting what the company described as a completely-new way to enjoy the brand’s signature boxed dinners, packaged food product mainstay Hamburger Helper unveiled a line of erotic casseroles Thursday that is intended to be eaten…

SHEBOYGAN, WI—Shrugging off that he had been bedridden for the better part of the day, local man Jamison Kelly reminded himself Monday that the painful, nauseating side effects just meant that the triple bacon cheeseburger he recently…