Health

These days, it can be hard to tell if the hospital you're at is also a staging ground for Islamist terrorists to commit mass murder! We at the Babylon Bee have assembled a list of ten subtle clues to help you discern if the hospital you're…

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A group of scientists is proposing government-mandated cigarette-style caution labels on meat packages that could read, “Warning: Eating meat contributes to climate change.” The anti-meat scientists, who falsely claim meat consumption is…

Nicki Minaj slammed the mindset of pro-obesity activists like Lizzo who glorify unhealthy lifestyles under the banner of “body positivity,” in a new interview with Vogue. In the magazine’s cover story for the December issue, Minaj, 40,…

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U.S. — Supermarket chains are installing defibrillators at checkout counters due to the growing number of heart attacks that occur when a customer sees their checkout total."We remain committed to the health and safety of our customers who…

LOS ANGELES, CA — Researchers have made a groundbreaking medical discovery this week, discovering a miracle cure for gender dysphoria called "Deleting TikTok"."The results are truly stunning," Dr. Erik Mendez told reporters. "By simply…

Every October 10th, celebrities, politicians, and bureaucrats get together to performatively raise awareness for “World Mental Health Day.” This year, Selena Gomez, the multi-millionaire who produced a documentary last year about her…

WeightWatchers is cashing in on the latest weight-loss craze. After decades of selling a broken calorie model as an obesity remedy for desperate consumers, WeightWatchers CEO Sima Sistani offered an apology in a recent interview with Oprah…

NOVI, MI — Local corporate sales executive Chet Tetters downed his third Monster energy drink this morning, ensuring he has at least 180,000% of the daily value of vitamin B12 he needs to achieve peak health and performance."Yeah, just…