Health

TOLEDO, OH—Expressing revulsion after wolfing down the “nasty-ass treat,” local man Kurt Nelson told reporters Monday that he regretted eating what he thought was a Peep. “It seemed warm and gooey at first, but then I started to notice the…

The facade of “safety” around hormonal birth control continues to crumble: Researchers at Oxford Population Health’s Cancer Epidemiology Unit have recently shown that progestin-only hormonal contraceptives, long billed as the “safest” birth…

With more than 8,000 children living in Oregon foster care, with 200 awaiting adoption, one might think state officials would jump at the opportunity to place a child in a loving home. Jessica Bates, a mother of 5 in southeast Oregon, hoped…

SWITZERLAND – A new study published in Nature has confirmed what scientists have long suspected — in this Pilates class, you are the only uggo. Scientists conducted the seconds-long experiment to determine, what, exactly you’re doing…

TORONTO – Brandi Bepple was shocked to discover her daughter’s gerbil, Peanut, has already surpassed her 2023 fitness goals, despite her extensive preparation and detailed vision boarding. Bepple purchased the two-month-old Mongolian gerbil…

Today, millions of Americans are celebrating St. Patrick’s Day, a Christian feast day that has evolved into a secular celebration of Irish culture with parades, festivals, drinking, and wearing the color green. How are you…

PHOENIXVILLE, PA — Local man Todd Longwood, 40, was shocked to discover that the list of side effects from the new drug Relievitol perfectly described a typical day in his life."I was watching TV with my wife when the list of symptoms…

Almost 200 human rights organizations are urging the United Nations to intervene to ensure the United States protects reproductive rights, saying the decision to overturn Roe v. Wade contravenes the U.S.’s international obligations as a…

The United States should never participate in any treaty that undermines its sovereignty and freedom to act in a time of crisis. Yet that’s exactly what the Biden administration is attempting to do through a new agreement with the World…

U.S. — A new study has found that everyone at the gym is, in fact, watching you and laughing at your little sissy dumbbells."Our study concluded that the feeling you get of being watched at the gym is because of everyone is snickering at…