Browsing Tag

Health

Scotiabank purchases naming rights on all future Canadian variants of coronavirus

admin Aug 29, 2021

TORONTO – In light of news that the World Health Organization would be renaming key variants of COVID-19, Scotiabank has announced plans to bid on the naming rights of all future coronavirus strains to arise in Canada. “Obviously…

Wow! This cat detected his owner’s undiagnosed cancer and isn’t going to do anything about it

admin Aug 28, 2021

Me-Wow! When four-year-old cat Miles noticed his owner’s pallid skin and increasingly sluggish behaviour, he immediately clocked the Stage I carcinoma slowly growing in owner Sophia Reinhart’s left shoulder but isn’t about to be the one to…

Convicted Murderer Sues Prison for Refusing to Make Him a ‘Woman’

admin Aug 26, 2021

(NBC News) — An incarcerated man filed a complaint Wednesday against the Virginia Department of Corrections, or VADOC, for denying him surgery and other treatment for gender dysphoria, according to court documents shared with NBC…

Biden just going to let Covid have Florida

admin Aug 26, 2021

JACKSONVILLE, FL – After months of Florida Governor Ron DeSantis’s ineffective pandemic response, President Biden today announced he is removing his hat in sorrow as he allows Covid-19 to have the great state. “As a cruel battle commander…

Overrun Hospitals Unable To Combat Dual Threat Of COVID, Milk Crate Challenge

admin Aug 25, 2021

TAMPA, FL—Officials at Tampa General Hospital say they are at full capacity as doctors and nurses are working furiously to combat the dual-threat of COVID and the milk crate challenge. Experts warn the situation will only get worse in the…

Anti-vaxxer demands you produce a single study showing mRNA vaccines are safe – no not that one

admin Aug 24, 2021

TORONTO – Clayton Bach, a local man who believes that the Pfizer and Moderna COVID vaccines are incredibly dangerous has demanded you produce a single study showing they are safe, but not that one. “They rushed the technology. There is…

FDA Approves Pfizer Vaccine, Knocks On Wood

admin Aug 23, 2021

U.S.—After an intense period of testing on 200 million guinea pigs throughout the U.S. and some very fancy lobster dinners with Pfizer executives, the Food and Drug Administration finally approved the Pfizer vaccine, and then knocked…

The Vaccinated Are Worried and Scientists Don’t Have Answers

admin Aug 22, 2021

(Bloomberg) — Anecdotes tell us what the data can’t: Vaccinated people appear to be getting the coronavirus at a surprisingly high rate. But exactly how often isn’t clear, nor is it certain how likely they are to spread the virus to others.…

‘Pfizer+’ Monthly Booster Subscription Program Announced

admin Aug 19, 2021

NEW YORK, NY—Following the popular trend of providing consumers constant access to products or services they think they need, Pfizer has announced a subscription service that will provide monthly COVID-19 vaccines to all members, called…

Perfectly Good Cookie Dough Ruined By Putting It In Oven

admin Aug 18, 2021

AUBURN, WA—According to sources at the Jackson household, Mrs. Grace Jackson made delicious cookie dough that was soft and moist and perfect, one of the greatest creations of human civilization. Jackson had whipped up the cookie dough and…

Older Posts

Newer Posts