Health

REDMOND, WA—In what many call a “science miracle,” a mask worn by four-year-old Addison Stephens developed a stain that some say looks just like Dr. Anthony Fauci. “I was so surprised when I saw it,” said Delores Stephens, the mother of…

EDMONTON – Following the announcement of strict new measures to combat the out of control spread of COVID-19, Premier Jason Kenney announced he will make it up to Albertans by holding a surprise, fully un-masked Stampede festival next week.…

Silver Spring, MD – The United States Food and Drug Administration has asked American horses to stop taking COVID vaccines to treat their worm infestations. “There is no evidence that COVID vaccines treat parasite infections in horses,”…

CALGARY – According to eyewitnesses, a group of anti-vaccine mandate protestors outside of the Foothills Medical Centre appear thoroughly confused as to where or even how Canada passes laws. Reports indicate the group of anti vaccine…

GRANADA HILLS, CA—In a tragedy that's becoming all too common among millennial women, local wife and mother of three Destiny Madur sadly passed away after she only managed to drink seven and a half glasses of water instead of the…

Uh-Oh: Vials Of Mysterious Substance At Wuhan Lab Labeled 'Save For 2024 Election' WUHAN—Well, this can't be good: an investigative journalist—a real one, not a "journalist" who complains about pronouns in videogames on Twitter—managed to…

U.S.—In a joint project with the Department of Health and Human Services, the U.S. Military has unveiled its new design for special drones that will enforce vaccinations and COVID lockdowns—and people are already expressing…

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a speech today, Joe Biden unveiled a brand new program to force the rest of the country to get vaccinated, entitled "Your Body, My Choice." "Listen folks, make mistake. Uh, make no mistake," said the President, reading…

ATLANTA, GA—The CDC has issued new guidelines that specifically call out anyone relying on a functioning immune system as being anti-science. “Does a ‘complex network of cells, and proteins that defends the body against infection’…