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Health

Anti-vaxxer demands you produce a single study showing mRNA vaccines are safe – no not that one

admin Aug 24, 2021

TORONTO – Clayton Bach, a local man who believes that the Pfizer and Moderna COVID vaccines are incredibly dangerous has demanded you produce a single study showing they are safe, but not that one. “They rushed the technology. There is…

FDA Approves Pfizer Vaccine, Knocks On Wood

admin Aug 23, 2021

U.S.—After an intense period of testing on 200 million guinea pigs throughout the U.S. and some very fancy lobster dinners with Pfizer executives, the Food and Drug Administration finally approved the Pfizer vaccine, and then knocked…

The Vaccinated Are Worried and Scientists Don’t Have Answers

admin Aug 22, 2021

(Bloomberg) — Anecdotes tell us what the data can’t: Vaccinated people appear to be getting the coronavirus at a surprisingly high rate. But exactly how often isn’t clear, nor is it certain how likely they are to spread the virus to others.…

‘Pfizer+’ Monthly Booster Subscription Program Announced

admin Aug 19, 2021

NEW YORK, NY—Following the popular trend of providing consumers constant access to products or services they think they need, Pfizer has announced a subscription service that will provide monthly COVID-19 vaccines to all members, called…

Perfectly Good Cookie Dough Ruined By Putting It In Oven

admin Aug 18, 2021

AUBURN, WA—According to sources at the Jackson household, Mrs. Grace Jackson made delicious cookie dough that was soft and moist and perfect, one of the greatest creations of human civilization. Jackson had whipped up the cookie dough and…

Mayor of Camden, NJ Holds ‘COVID-19 Vaccine Parade’ Complete With Marching Band and Shots

admin Aug 13, 2021

(NJ Spotlight News) — Camden Mayor Vic Carstarphen held a COVID-19 vaccine parade on Tuesday. Medical workers and a mobile unit traveled the city’s streets, knocking on doors and providing vaccines to people on the spot. The County Fire…

Texas Declares So-Called ‘Sex Change’ Surgeries for Minors Child Abuse

admin Aug 13, 2021

(Faithwire) ⁠— Texas Gov. Greg Abbott (R) announced this week that performing sex reassignment surgeries on minors is a form of child abuse. The governor made the announcement Thursday, after receiving a report from Jaime Masters,…

Scientists Rename Climate Change ‘COVID’ So Americans Will Immediately Give Up All Their…

admin Aug 13, 2021

Scientists Rename Climate Change 'COVID' So Americans Will Immediately Give Up All Their Rights To Fight It U.S.—In a clever ploy to fight global warming, scientists have renamed "climate change" to "COVID," so that Americans will…

Bikers At Sturgis Rally Put Up ‘Happy Birthday Obama’ Sign So COVID Can’t Spread

admin Aug 13, 2021

STURGIS, SD—Bikers are tough and cool, but you can't say they aren't also purdy dang smart: motorcyclists at the annual rally in Sturgis, South Dakota put up a "Happy Birthday Obama" sign this week to make sure COVID can't spread. 4D chess,…

Dr. Fauci Runs Into Village Screaming That A Wolf Is Coming To Devour Us All Again

admin Aug 12, 2021

Dr. Fauci Runs Into Village Screaming That A Wolf Is Coming To Devour Us All Again WASHINGTON, D.C.—According to sources at a small village near Washington, D.C., Dr. Fauci came running into the town screaming that a wolf is coming to…

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