Health

CALGARY – Anti-maskers celebrated today after the announcement that Daft Punk, pioneering electronic musicians known for monster hits like “Get Lucky” and their robot helmet aesthetic, announced that they were breaking up after 28 years as…

ATLANTA, GA—To fight white supremacy, Coca-Cola has discontinued its controversial product Vanilla Coke, saying it is "too white" and must be dismantled as part of the company's continued emphasis on eliminating whiteness from society. All…

SASKATOON, SK – Local woman Audrey Cortland has boldly dared to voice an opinion on Twitter, because apparently she has a fucking death wish. “This past year has been incredibly difficult for everyone,” says Dr. Judd Waller, a psychiatrist…

Revealed: Biden Shows Off His High-Tech Basement Lab Where He Invented The COVID Vaccine WASHINGTON, D.C.—Biden offered journalists an exciting look at his secret basement lab this week, where he has been working hard since his January…

Help Is On The Way: Next Stimulus Bill Will Give Every American $2,000 Worth Of Masks WASHINGTON, D.C.—Congress has finally come to an agreement on the stimulus bill: every American will be sent $2,000, but instead of cash, the payment will…

U.S.—The nation is preparing to celebrate what is expected to become a beloved annual holiday: Two Weeks To Slow The Spread Day, to be held in March every year. "This time of year we like to come together to remember the historic day…

TORONTO – Last week, Ontario premier Doug Ford announced that his administration is committed to bringing the COVID-19 situation under control by no later than the 7th major spike in cases. “While the province is undoubtedly still…

U.S.—Experts are now predicting that humans will make a giant evolutionary leap forward in the next few years, moving from walking around on two legs to rolling around in a giant ball of masks, thanks to ever-evolving mask guidelines. "At…

WASHINGTON, DC—In a development no one saw coming, Dr. Anthony Fauci has again changed his recommendation about what to do with masks by consulting his tested and proven "Wheel of SCIENCE." “Now I know it confuses people when the science…