Health

U.S.—A dire report is indicating that ERs and urgent cares across the country are overflowing, not because of COVID patients, but because they are full of nurses dancing for funny TikTok videos. The report found that every ER in the country…

NEW YORK, NY—According to sources, New York Governor Andrew Cuomo was recently seen pushing massive barrels of COVID vaccine in the Hudson River in order to prevent non-priority populations from receiving it. When approached by angry people…

NEW YORK, NY—Yass, slay, queens -- dead queens, that is! Cosmopolitan Magazine is promoting body positivity with the first-ever series of corpse cover models. The issues feature interviews with and profiles on a dozen dead girls…

HAMILTON, Ala. (ABC 33/40 News) — Pastor Mike Stancil preached the gospel at Fulton Bridge Baptist Church for nine years. This week, his congregation is grieving. “It’s still hard to believe. I still believe Brother Mike should be back here…

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgglML-70Mg] (Fox News) — Louisiana Republican Rep.-elect Luke Letlow died of a heart attack after a procedure related to COVID-19, according to the chancellor of the hospital he was admitted to. LSU…

IRVINE, CA—Taco Bell has unveiled a much-anticipated new item to its $1 Cravings Menu: a Doritos Locos vaccine. Now, when you get a mysterious craving for "Mexican" food at 1 a.m., you can get a Chalupa, a Grilled Cheese Burrito, and a…

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a blow to the fight against the coronavirus pandemic, Moderna’s vaccine has now been rejected by the FDA. This was done because of a recommendation from the CDC, which found out that the Moderna vaccine is effective in…

WASHINGTON, D.C.—The FDA has approved a fake vaccine for staged photo shoots by celebrities and politicians, the administration announced today. After reviewing the placebo vaccine for weeks, FDA experts confirmed it was totally safe for…

SACRAMENTO, CA—California has leveraged one of its recent emergency declarations to declare Christmas caroling a felony. Christmas caroling is now punishable by 25 years in prison, as it's detrimental to the public health. In addition to…

U.S.—Experts are warning against another deadly side effect of lockdowns, as a correlation has been found between stay-at-home orders and Taylor Swift making new albums. While Swift has released two new albums over the past five months,…