hockey

VANCOUVER – Local coworkers are expressing frustration as one member of their fantasy hockey league, Dave Henson in Sales, won’t stop bragging for 10 goddamned seconds about his late-pick drafting of Sabres star Tage Thompson. The…

NEW YORK—Touting the new competition as perfect for anyone who wanted to continue placing bets after the NFL season ended, FanDuel unveiled a new “Double Play” contest Monday, offering users a chance to win back their house. “You may have…

VANCOUVER – Faced with an onslaught of negative publicity for the way they handled the firing of Bruce Boudreau, the Vancouver Canucks are looking to gain back some popular support by hiring former power forward Todd Bertuzzi as the head of…

“Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven,” reads Christ’s eighth beatitude in the Gospel of Matthew. It is perhaps the beatitude most often viewed as a remnant of the ancient…

Ever since the Philadelphia Flyers’ Ivan Provorov declined to wear a rainbow jersey on “Pride Night” and cited his Orthodox Christian faith as the reason why, the performative outrage from the sports media has been… well, no different than…

Philadelphia Flyers defenseman Ivan Provorov refused to take a pregame skate last night in the team’s LGBTQ+ warmup jersey, citing his preference “to stay true to myself and my religion,” which is Russian Orthodox. “I respect everyone. I…

NEW YORK CITY – Controversial Rangers defenseman Darryl King has set tongues wagging in the NHL community with his marriage to Katherine Evermore, who, according to insiders, is “almost offensively not-blonde”. Though King leads the league…

EDMONTON – Leonard Bagan, a die-hard Edmonton Oilers fan, says he is sick and tired of Canada’s sports media always covering the Toronto Maple Leafs, a team he has devoted his life to talking about ad nauseam across all social media…

OTTAWA – Tired of being mocked for the team’s poor performance, Ottawa Senators fan David Martinson is reminding everyone that the team was expected to struggle, despite spending the off-season telling anyone who would listen that the Sens…

SEATTLE, WA – Following the unveiling of Buoy, the abomination currently serving as the mascot for the Seattle Krakens, experts have been divided as to how the joyful creature will interact with the current alpha monster of the NFL, Gritty…