Thanksgiving turkey praying none of its side dishes find out about each other
See More: dinner, infidelity, news in photo, Side Dish, Thanksgiving, Turkey Beaverton
Browsing Tag
Holidays
5 fun or cheap activities to make the most of summer, and yes, we did mean “or”
OTTAWA – The long weekend is coming up, and you’re seeking ways of maximizing your time while minimizing your expenses. But every listicle promising low-cost excitement disappoints you with local attractions you got bored of a decade ago,…
Labour Day parade “not communist enough” for small town
ROBERTS, AB — A spectre is haunting Roberts—the spectre of not enough Communism. Town residents are upset that the town’s annual Labour Day parade hasn’t gone far enough to “release the proletariat of their chains”
Roberts,…
Canada Day face paint includes footnote about not being one of those Convoy fucks
OTTAWA – Sean Rice, dressed in his usual July 1st garb of Canada flag boxers, Canada flag face-paint and a full Canadian flag worn as a cape, has had to take special precautions to prevent onlookers from thinking he’s one of those Convoy…
By Keeping The Past Alive, Memorial Day Can Help Us Save The Future
Memorial Day is a profound American holiday because it connects the present with so many different points of our past. It was originally known as Decoration Day, a day set aside to honor those who lost their lives in the Civil War—America’s…
World’s Greatest Dad preheats oven for Mother’s Day
See More: bare minimum, dad, great, Mother's Day, news in photo, Oven Beaverton
Easter Bunny freezes eggs to focus on career
BERLIN — The disappointment of millions of children worldwide was palpable Sunday morning after the Easter Bunny announced it would be ‘freezing’ its iconic egg hunt for the foreseeable future in order to pursue new avenues as a holiday…
Nation’s conspiracy theorists celebrate False Flag Day
OTTAWA – As Canadians spent the day commemorating the inauguration of the country’s iconic maple leaf flag, the nation’s weird shut-ins took to obscure subreddits for a celebration of their own, in honour of false flag operations.
The…
Editorial: I don’t celebrate Groundhog Day because I honour groundhogs every day of the year
As February 2nd approaches, and I watch my friends and family stress over making the perfect plans for Groundhog Day, I can’t help but sit back and watch in bewilderment.
Because you see, for me, every day is Groundhog Day.
Sure, I…
Christmas tree still in house unsure if family Orthodox or just lazy
SASKATOON – A Christmas tree still on display in the Miller household’s living room is uncertain if the family that purchased it is planning to celebrate Orthodox Christmas, or if they’ve just been too lazy to throw it out onto the curb for…
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