hospitality recreation

WASHINGTON—Admitting that he had never been more conflicted about a ruling in his life, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas was reportedly torn Monday over a case in which both sides offered compelling scuba trips. “While there’s a strong…

THE HEAVENS—Begging the deliverymen to stay while He figured something out, the Lord God Almighty cursed loudly Thursday after He reportedly realized the gates of heaven were not wide enough for His new couch to fit through. “Are you…

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ROCHESTER, MN—Concluding the lack of skill was responsible for nearly 50 million tons of meat being discarded across the nation each year, a new study released Tuesday by researchers at the University of Minnesota Rochester found that over…

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ARLINGTON HEIGHTS, IL—Describing the serene smile that spread across the 87-year-old’s face, sources reported that local grandfather Murray Lowe’s eyes lit up Wednesday as he recalled his halcyon days as a regular at his town’s Old Country…

An Ohio golf course on the site of 2,000-year-old ceremonial mounds and burial grounds of the Hopewell Earthworks system refused a payment of $2 million for the World Heritage Site, leaving it up to a jury to decide what the site is worth…

ROSEMONT, IL—Saying the product tasted bad despite having an appearance similar to vanilla pudding, the American Academy of Dermatology issued guidelines Wednesday in which it advised against taking a big bite of facial cream. “We conducted…

Kami Rita, a renowned Sherpa mountain guide, made a record-breaking 30th ascent of Mt. Everest, with his two most recent climbs made within the same month. What do you think?“So we’ve both climbed Everest less than 40 times.”Millie-Mae…

INDIANAPOLIS—Admitted with complaints that it had been hard to tell the difference between their fingers and their food, everyone in Unity Medical Center emergency room Friday had bitten a digit off their hand while holding a sandwich,…