hospitality recreation

Amid concerns about privacy in vacation rentals and public spaces, Airbnb released a statement saying the company will no longer permit indoor security cameras to be installed in rental properties, an update to its previous policy, which…

COLUMBUS, OH—Pleased to see his years of hard work had finally paid off, sources confirmed Wednesday that the owner of the shuttered hermit crab kiosk at the mall had probably retired to his own private tropical island. “Good for him,” said…

NEW YORK—Rolling up their sleeves to reveal an illustration of a whisk or a fried egg inked on each of their forearms, the nation’s burly chefs announced plans Wednesday to completely cover their meaty hands in tattoos also. “We, the…

ELMHURST, IL—Mesmerized by the distinct aura of the suburban bar patron, sources reported Tuesday that local woman Katrina Wollack, 53, was a different kind of drunk. “It’s a sadder kind of drunk, but also sloppier—she’s much louder too,”…

COLUMBUS, OH—In an effort to come clean about the storied history of the brand, White Castle released a statement Tuesday confirming its sliders were the result of centuries of inbreeding. “Years of burgers procreating within the same…

NEW YORK—While weighing the pros and cons of the flight as he planned his trip to visit family on the West Coast, local man Brett Danielewski, 32, reportedly expressed conflicting feelings Tuesday about a layover that would save him $39 but…

INDIANAPOLIS—Pushing around a limp salad in a bowl, local woman Danielle Guerra reportedly sighed and said, “I wish I had your metabolism,” Monday upon seeing Garfield swallow a whole lasagna in one gulp. “You’re so lucky that you can eat…

NEW YORK—Hunched over a pint of beer, Paul Giamatti’s fake lazy eye from The Holdovers was reportedly drunkenly watching the Oscars broadcast from a corner of the dive bar, sources confirmed Sunday. “Turn it up, turn it up, I can’t hear!”…

COPENHAGEN, DENMARK—In what the pharmaceutical company hailed as a major breakthrough in weight management, Ozempic maker Novo Nordisk triumphantly announced a new drug Friday that makes obese people disappear entirely. “Although our…

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Americans were reportedly taking part in celebrations and special programs across the country Friday in honor of the 150th anniversary of Thomas Edison inventing the electrical duck. “We take it for granted today, but the…