housing

TORONTO – I know that people are looking for someone to blame for the violence on the TTC but I can assure everyone that this is in no way linked to the housing crisis, healthcare funding or the fact that I absolutely fucking hate…

CAPE CANAVERAL – Astronaut Jeremy Hansen, a colonel in the RCAF, will become the first Canadian to orbit the moon in an effort to find affordable housing. “Catherine and I have three kids, so space is a big factor,” said Hansen, rubbing his…

LOS ANGELES—Stressing that the traps were not intended for human consumption, Los Angeles officials warned residents Wednesday to not touch poisoned food left out to deal with the city’s homeless infestation. “For their own sake, we’re…

By unanimous resolution last week, the city of San Diego declared that “housing is a human right.” But no one knows exactly what that means. The city went on to reaffirm “its commitment to providing more housing services geared toward…

“Everything is broken so lets make it worse” by Pierre Poilievre It is a fact: our beloved Canada is irreparably broken. From unaffordable housing, to rampant inflation, to bold leaders being mocked just because they wholeheartedly…

TORONTO – After hearing yet another story of a “Downtrodden, heartbroken, teensy weensy little landlord” who became upset when a tenant callously needed a place to live, Canada’s national broadcaster is now reporting that all landlords…

OTTAWA – Struggling home buyers rejoice! After years of an impossibly expensive real estate market, it looks like home prices are finally starting to fall due to the increased costs of borrowing money to buy one, making homes in Canada just…

TORONTO – After a recent drop in the Canadian housing market, city dweller and accounts manager, Benedict Witt, 34, has become the only person that is considering he may now be able to afford to purchase a house. Maybe. “I’ve been waiting…

HAMILTON – Local 31-year-old Madison Clair, a newly licensed veterinarian who currently owes a combined total of $118,846 in federal and provincial student loans, reports that her greatest dream is to someday owe at least six times that…

OTTAWA – Reaching across all 3 levels of Government, the leaders of Canada’s national, provincial, and big city governments have reached a historic deal allowing them to shift the blame for record housing prices and inflation instability…