human interest

Red-pilled individuals claim they have awakened to the truth that no-fault divorce, spousal support, custody laws, and many other things associated with marriage are biased against men. The Onion asked red-pilled Americans to explain why…

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LOS ANGELES—Noting that the project would usher in an entirely new era for her, Jennifer Lopez confirmed Friday that This Is Me…Now was not only a movie musical, an album, and a tour, but also a new autocratic nation-state. “This Is…

Representatives for Usher confirmed that the the star and longtime girlfriend Jennifer Goicoechea, a senior vice president at Epic Records, tied the knot at the Vegas Weddings chapel after the Super Bowl where Usher headlined the halftime…

NEW YORK—Conspicuously holding up her wrist for everyone in the bar to see, local woman Liz Galdames reportedly flashed her friendship bracelet Wednesday evening in order to repel anyone seeking platonic companionship. “Sorry, buddy, I…

DENVER—Cornered by the unreserved woman with nowhere to run, local 29-year-old Christine Lopez was reportedly terrified Tuesday after a friend of a friend had asked her point-blank what brand of vibrator she used. “So are you into clitoral…

LONDON—Proclaiming a new era of unstoppable proliferation across the United Kingdom, a bloody, cancerous polyp addressed the British public from Buckingham Palace on Tuesday and informed them that he was their new king. “Bow down before me,…

Start SlideshowRomance is in the air on Valentine’s Day, but those who aren’t lucky enough to have a partner will have to be satisfied with the pleasure of their own company. Here are the most common porn searches on Valentine’s Day.…

GILBERT, AZ—Noting that just spending a few minutes a day on a toilet had drastically improved her mental and physical health, local woman Jessica Emerson admitted to reporters Monday that she considered her bathroom break self-care. “I…

LAWRENCE, KS—Unable to control herself while watching the R&B star perform during the Super Bowl LVIII halftime show, local mom Kathy Deacon got up from her couch and licked Usher’s abs on her TV screen, sources reported Sunday. “Oh…