human interest

GREENVILLE, NC—Telling viewers of his latest charitable video to prepare themselves for his “most epic challenge yet,” 25-year-old influencer Jimmy “MrBeast” Donaldson announced Friday that he had resurrected everyone buried at Arlington…

LONDON—Scuttling through passageways deep beneath Buckingham Palace, King Charles III reportedly fertilized a clutch of royal eggs Thursday. According to sources, Charles maneuvered through the damp, dark corridors on all four of his limbs,…

KEY WEST, FL—Locking eyes upon realizing they were both cut from the same cloth, local man with a cockatiel on his shoulder Alex Maser reportedly gave a knowing nod Thursday to resident Thomas Beltran, who sported an iguana on his shoulder.…

FARGO, ND—Appearing baffled by the transparency of the fluid discharged from the machine, area man Luke Chambers was said to have looked on helplessly Wednesday as a soda fountain at a local Hardee’s began filling his 32-ounce cup with a…

Donald Trump was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize by Republican Congresswoman Claudia Tenney (NY), citing the Abraham Accords the former president helped sign while in office, making it the fourth time he has been nominated. What do you…

HAGERSTOWN, MD—Attempting between swigs of whiskey to have a frank discussion with their friend about his need to get help for his drinking problem, the loved ones staging an intervention for local alcoholic Eric Garziano were also drunk,…

HARPERS FERRY, WV—Emphasizing that he had seen you whilst on horseback and was most taken with your dazzling beauty, sources confirmed Tuesday that the honorable Colonel Westwood of the 10th Brigade would like to take you as his bride. “The…

Starting next month, Jon Stewart will return to The Daily Show desk as a part-time host on Mondays for the duration of the 2024 election cycle. What do you think? “Makes sense. Everyone gets more conservative when they get older.”Vincenzo…

CHICAGO—Saying she had learned what to look out for after years of being single, local woman Laura Powers reported Friday that any man who wore a hat in every picture on his dating profile was probably hiding a wife and kids up there. “If…

​​NEW YORK—Standing before a crowd of millennials, Gen Xers, and baby boomers, members of Generation Z announced at a press conference Wednesday that actress Julie Andrews was problematic, but they refused to explain why. “You know what she…