human interest

MISSOULA, MT—Wincing at the sound of the man’s booming voice, sources confirmed Monday that 35-year-old Jesse Slattery was loud but not even drunk. “You’d think he’d had a shot or two before this, but nope, that’s just his voice,” said…

Start SlideshowThere is nothing more mysterious and disgusting than the tangled mess of tubes, holes, and pubic hair that makes up the female anatomy. The Onion answers the most common questions that patients are too embarrassed to ask…

NASSAU, BAHAMAS—Describing the constant barrage of emotional highs as a welcome but exhausting facet of their tour, the vacationing Hartford family confirmed Friday that they were almost getting tired of all the unforgettable memories they…

ELMHURST, IL—Seeing her Aunt Nance’s number appear for the third time since Halloween, local niece Liz Kaminsky, 37, reported Thursday that her father’s sister had been calling every week leading up to the upcoming holiday to make sure…

MEMPHIS, TN—Wiping the tears from his eyes with one hand and using his phone’s front-facing camera to take a selfie with the other, local widower Randall Selway was reportedly sobbing at his wife’s funeral Thursday while creating a profile…

Start SlideshowCan you effectively communicate with the zoomers, or will they mock your pathetic attempt? Take our quiz to learn how well you know Gen Z slang.AdvertisementPrevious SlideNext SlideQ: SkilamalinkQ:…

ROCHESTER, MN—Saying it would be a great way for them to hang out together and bond as a couple, local girlfriend Tasha Emerson reportedly signed herself and her boyfriend Doug Purdom up for medical school this week. “Oh, come on, don’t…

Former President Donald Trump recently called his liberal political opponents “vermin” in a speech delivered on the campaign trail for the 2024 election, using the term in a manner likened to Hitler or Mussolini to dehumanize his rivals.…

GREENSBORO, NC—Receiving the go-ahead from his typically strict owner, local terrier-beagle mix Montgomery Pickles, 7, was reportedly allowed to eat whatever he wanted from the sidewalk Tuesday since it was his birthday. “Go for it—I’m not…

Scientists based in China have created a monkey chimera with two sets of DNA, experimental work they say could ultimately benefit medical research and the conservation of endangered species. What do you think?“Don’t you mean God created a…