human interest

The Transportation Security Administration is reminding travelers not to put their pets through X-ray machines after “too many” travelers have sent their small animals through the screening units. What do you think?“Oh, and I suppose…

Taylor Swift has a notoriously rich, famous, and glamorous group of friends most commonly referred to as her “squad.” The Onion asked current and former squad members what they thought of her new romance with football player Travis Kelce,…

“No, do not tell me they ascribe numbers to flesh!!! Flesh is a quality not a quantity and mustn’t be assessed as such! Tell me adjectives of the flesh, descriptions of the flesh, exquisite tales of how the flesh makes you feel! But O,…

A pair of Ivy League scientists have been awarded the 2023 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine for their research developing mRNA vaccines that lead to the vaccine development against Covid-19. What do you think?“Should we really be…

Porn, in all its hairless, vaguely consensual glory, gives everyday Americans an unrealistic view of how disgusting sexual intercourse really is. While you may think you look like the MILFs, naughty stepsons, or barely legal teens that you…

Following the 11th instance in which President Joe Biden’s younger dog nipped at member of the federal law enforcement agency, The Onion asked dogs what they thought about Commander Biden biting another Secret Service officer, and this is…

A pair of front-row balcony tickets to Ford’s Theatre on April 14, 1865—the night President Abraham Lincoln was assassinated by John Wilkes Booth—sold at auction for $262,500. What do you think?“I’ll just wait for the movie version.”Troy…

Start SlideshowThousands of United Auto Workers members have walked off the job since the union initiated its strike on Sept. 15. The Onion tells you everything you need to know about about the UAW strike.AdvertisementPrevious SlideNext…

Canadian officials are apologizing to Jewish communities after honoring a Ukrainian-Canadian veteran who belonged to a Nazi division in WWII with a standing ovation during Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelensky’s visit. What do you think?“A…

WASHINGTON—Delivering a jubilant address to the American people, a triumphant President Joe Biden announced Wednesday that the United States had killed a man who kind of looked like Osama bin Laden. “I am proud to stand before you and…