human interest

DURHAM, NC—Appearing saddened as they explained it was a congenital defect and there was almost nothing they could do, doctors at Duke University Hospital expressed alarm Monday after early tests suggested that a pregnant woman was Black.…

Start SlideshowWith a slew of anti-LGBQT+ bills recently passed in red states, The Onion asked Republicans what they would do if their kid came out as gay, and this is what they said.AdvertisementPrevious SlideNext SlideTeddy Antwerp,…

BATESVILLE, AR—Holding his arm and trying not to cry as he walked nervously up to his supervisor, bleeding 9-year-old worker Blaine Wilkins reportedly asked Friday if he could go to the slaughterhouse nurse. “Um, ma’am, I cut myself on the…

A zoo in Tennessee says it has welcomed a rare giraffe that does not have any spots, with experts confirming she may be the only solid-colored reticulated giraffe on the planet. What do you think?“Finally,a tasteful giraffe.”Thomas Overton…

GREEN BAY, WI—In an act demonstrating clear confidence and pride in his own worth, self-respecting man Evan Landry reportedly heated up his leftovers from Garcia’s Mexican Restaurant in the microwave on Monday. “I could just dig into this…

SEYMOUR, IN—Expressing astonishment over her husband’s about-face regarding the root vegetable, local mother Connie Keeley reportedly told her children Monday that she was proud of their father, Paul, 56, for trying a sweet potato. “You…

Start SlideshowThe transition to college life can be tough on even the most prepared among us. Here’s a quiz to test whether you’re ready to head off to higher ed!AdvertisementPrevious SlideNext Slide2 / 35Q: Are you absolutely, completely…

Country singer Oliver Anthony made waves across the music industry when his song “Rich Men North Of Richmond,” which contains lyrics that appear to be veiled allusions to QAnon conspiracy theories, recently went viral. The Onion asked…

LONDON—Interviews with fans of the team ahead of their finals match against Spain reportedly found that England’s Women’s World Cup success was inspiring a new generation of young girls to become hooligans. “Watching those ladies kick ass…

EUGENE, OR—Warning the 32-year-old man that you couldn’t trust anyone nowadays, local mom Sandy Fremont reportedly begged her adult son on Thursday to “be careful” while going to use a restaurant bathroom. “Please, son, I know you’re…