human interest

LOS ANGELES—Defending Maestro star Bradley Cooper against widespread criticism of his portrayal of the famed Jewish composer, Leonard Bernstein’s children released a statement Thursday confirming that their father wore a big prosthetic nose…

PYONGYANG—Stressing that the escaped 1st Armored Division private had proven himself time and again, North Korea officials confirmed Thursday that U.S. soldier Travis King was now in charge of their government. “Of course, we were initially…

Wildfires have been raging since last week in Maui, HI, causing the deadliest wildfire outbreak in America in over a century. The Onion tells you everything you need to know about the Maui wildfires.Holocaust Deniers Explain Why They Deny…

DALLAS—Stressing that the demographic group represented a vital part of their customer base, restaurant and video game chain Dave & Busters rolled out a half-off Tuesday nights promotion this week for divorced men choosing between…

DERRY, NH—As they lamented her decision to take on such a burdensome responsibility in this phase of her life, sources reported Tuesday that local woman Laura Raclaw had chosen to squander her childbearing years by bearing children. “It’s…

DES MOINES, IA— Hoping to initiate a casual chat with an average citizen during his campaign stop at the Iowa State Fair, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) reportedly said, “Ah,pissing, I love to piss,” this week when attempting to strike up a…

LOS ANGELES—Announcing that the network wanted to shake up their Undisputed coverage team, Fox Sports began a search this week for a new fresh body to host Skip Bayless. “We strive to offer our viewers the best coverage we can, and Skip is…

Start SlideshowHunter Biden recently pleaded not guilty to two tax evasion charges in the latest scandal for the embattled son of the president. The Onion tells you everything you need to know about the Hunter Biden…

Start SlideshowFollowing Donald Trump’s indictment on federal charges for attempting to overturn the 2020 election, Mike Pence has made headlines as a potential witness for the prosecution. The Onion sits down with the former vice president…

CHICAGO—Noting there’s no price to admission, local stepdad Dale Tatum claimed Wednesday that watching raccoons fight by the dumpster was better than any zoo. “Look at those little furry shits go at it! Won’t get that at a damn zoo,” said…