human interest

Finding the love of your life is hard enough without technology that allows you to get rejected by every other single person in your area. Here are insane things that everyone who uses online dating apps has experienced.Advertisement2 / …

NORTHBROOK, IL—Frustrated by his obvious level of intoxication, Ms. Pac-Man could reportedly tell within moments that the man currently operating her Friday was drunk as fuck. “Christ, as soon as this dude slammed his meaty paw down on the…

Try as you might, there’s only so much you can do to prepare for a human-shaped parasite to burst out of your body and into the world. Here are the most shocking things no one told you would happen during childbirth.Advertisement2 / 22Labor…

STOUGHTON, MA—Searching for any signs of himself at all in the memorial’s presentation, local man Cameron Miller told reporters Tuesday that he hoped there was a picture of himself with his deceased friend in the slideshow displayed at the…

BIG BEAR, CA—In an effort to avoid interfering with his process, everyone on a camping trip reportedly just got out of the way Friday while their friend Jacob Lopez, who knows what he’s doing, took care of everything. “Seems like Jake’s got…

While some parents feel they have to muscle it out and stay married for their children, the best ones make a healthy decision to throw in the towel and break it off once and for all. Here are things you’ll only understand if your parents…

Defending world champion Joey Chestnut broke his own record Sunday, devouring 76 hot dogs in 10 minutes, 26 more than the second-place finisher in the Nathan’s Famous International Hot Dog Eating Contest. What do you think?“I fear that one…

STANFORD, CA—In the results of a new study published in the Journal Of Woe, researchers from Stanford University revealed Tuesday that “truly being seen”still ranks among the worst possible experiences in human existence. “We’ve found…

DAYTON, OH—Expressing frustration at their pet’s continual barking and whimpering, sources within the Smyth family confirmed Sunday that their dog Jasper had gotten completely freaked out by the Independence Day fireworks getting shot…

The spread of the Delta coronavirus variant is prompting renewed concerns about the dangers of Covid. The Onion answers the most important questions about the Delta Covid variant..AdvertisementQ: What is the Delta variant?A: The reason life…